I am the
product of a life surrounded by strong women. They have been my teammates, my
coaches, my friends, my family and my role models. I could not be who I am
today without their steady and undeniable force. I am, however, also the
product of a life full of strong men.
There’s my
father, who is strong enough to let me decide exactly who I want to be. Who
never made me feel like I had to be sweet while my brother was smart or that I
had to stay clean while my brother sweat.
There’s my
brother, who is strong enough to be kind to everyone he has ever met. Who has
marched right beside me to say that my rights are equal to his.
There are the
men who have been my friends, who are strong enough to celebrate me for my
strengths just as I celebrate them for theirs. Who have never made me feel like
I need to make myself smaller in deference to their egos.
There are the
men who taught me, who were strong enough to have open discussions. Who let me
ask questions without feeling like I was questioning them and encouraged me to
have my own opinions so that, together, we could learn.
There are
the men I work with, who are strong enough to genuinely listen when I speak. Who
may have been working in this space since I was a child but who always give my experience
and my insights equal weight.
There are
the men I’ve shared training rooms and weight rooms with, who are strong enough
to see my commitment as equal to their own. Who, even as the world outside often
devalues women’s sports, recognize that we all put in the same work.
There are
all these men…who have taught me without making me feel inferior, who have
challenged the way I think without making me question the value of my own
opinion, who have supported me without wanting anything in return and who have
loved me without ever making me feel unsafe.
I am not writing
this because men should be praised for being decent human beings but because
these are the men I want to invite in. We have hit a boiling point. Women are
ready to fight and if you don’t think they have good reason to then you just
haven’t been paying attention. But--and this is important—this is not a battle of women against men and it
never has been.
This is a
fight against weak men. Weak men who abuse others to make themselves feel
powerful and who uphold systems that are unequal because they can’t stand on
their own merits. This is a fight for equality, for dignity, for safety and for
what the future of our society is going to look like.
Men--when
you walk into a room where decisions are being made and you only see faces that
look like yours, that is not equality. When you hear demeaning comments or
questionable jokes that go unchallenged, that is not dignity. When you see a
man in a position of authority pursuing a woman whose job depends on keeping
him happy, that is not safety. And when you see a woman shrink into herself
when she is beside a man, that is not strength.
Because to
me, this is strength at its core—the ability to stand with another person and
let them shine out, to let them be fully and wholly who they are, without
feeling like that somehow diminishes your ability to do the same.
We are
ready to shine and we are fighting for a future society that allows all of us to do so. Come stand alongside
us. If you’re strong enough…
If you want to understand more about what you can do, here are some places to start:
Time's Up + donate to the Legal Defense Fund
What decent men can do
How men can prevent harassment and abuse
share this awesome PSA with Donald Glover
